Fear and Self-doubt have become my best friends. I…
Now playing Skylar Grey’s: Stand By Me
Manifestations, speaking things into existence, dreaming, and having these things come true, then what next?
The young me would have fainted at the opportunity to work with a publishing company (read as a magazine). I remember the first time I had my story published on Business Day; I was too pumped even though no credit was given (it wasn’t published in my name). I shared my story and liked the idea of having my story in the magazine. My 14-year-old self would be having a proud moment if she could read that article.
I have always wanted to be a TV or media girl—someone who has her story or article up in a publication. The first time I went on air in a radio station, I went home feeling fulfilled. Nothing could stop my joy, and it made me sad when the lockdown in 2020 happened and my volunteer OAP days came to an end.
Sometime in October last year, I applied for a role with a magazine company, and I got the job. I almost cried; it was like my dream was happening. I was too excited to realize the pay, wasn’t it. Who cares about money when your name is out there with an article? I was part of a team, the editorial team. I wrote the required articles, did the corrections, and when my first salary came, my brain had a moment of clarity. It was one of my many moments of “what happens after your dreams come true?” Do you stay? Or move on to another dream? As humans, do we keep testing the waters until our last day here?
After my first month at this company, the salary hit the pause button. As much as the money wasn’t coming, I was ready to write and see my work published with my name (ghostwriting is my least favorite part of being a professional writer).
Recently I applied to work with another magazine. It’s funny how deep down, I’m not sure if my career as a writer is what I want to do a long time, but somehow I keep applying for every “content writer,” “blogger,” and “technical writer” role. I manifested working for this new magazine, and it’s about to start happening. Again, my brain has hit reset; what happens from here?
Is this what being human is? An insatiable urge to keep dreaming and dreaming?
Will I ever reach satisfaction with my career? Does anyone else feel this way?
At the beginning of this year, while making my new year wishes, I made a quick prayer, “let your will be done this year, Lord.” That prayer came from a place of weakness and exhaustion. In December, I got a call from the company I was working with, and I was asked to resign because they were transitioning. I watched another dream I had prayed for die-off. It left me devastated but opened my eyes to something.
Our dreams are like a lit candle. It keeps burning, and while we dance around it, have happy moments when it’s time, it burns out. The only way to keep your dream alive is to light another candle from the old one. It keeps going from there, a new dream breeding from the old one until you’re completely exhausted.
I’ve watched candles in my life go off. I’ve watched myself light another candle from the old one. Does this make sense to you?
I’ve watched candles in my life go off. I’ve watched myself light another candle from the old one. Does this make sense to you? If it does, then now you know what to do when your dreams come true. Instead of exhausting it and being sad when that reality ends, tap from it to start another reality.
I’d keep moving with my writing, creating a new reality from every experience. I was sad about resigning from my old workplace, but in reality, it’s the humans I met there I miss the most. Before sending in my resignation letter, I lit another candle, and I’ve done that with the first magazine company.
It’s an endless cycle of dreams and candles.
What would you do after your dream comes true?
It’s a relief writing this and another reminder that you’ve got this! Keep your candles burning 🤎.
Images from nappy.co