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Holiday in Ikwuano

December 31, 2018

I fell a victim to one of the Christmas traditions, the one that involves travelling a distance to stay with your extended family. My momma’s hometown is somewhere in Ikwuano, Abia state. Her place is like a proper village, I think civilization got to the junction of this community and lost its way.

I came here looking all spotless (except for my face, that one has decided to decorate itself with spots) but on God you should see my body. There’s this insect that is close to invisible which is to be blamed. According to my grandma this thing starts to attack mostly in the morning and in the evening. I keep falling prey to them because I have to go outside early in the morning to wash plates (this house girl duty follows me everywhere). One time I wore a crop sweater and it gave me waistbead inspired bites, that’s the way my mum put it though. Tried to capture what those bites look like 👇

had to compress the image for it to fit in,    I’m sure it didn’t do justice

 

The forces didn’t stop at the bites though, because my body knows how to act different when it’s in a foreign place, I had a sore throat. I think it’s the stream water because there just isn’t any other reason. I innocently told my grandma that my throat was hurting (I low-key only needed an excuse not to do chores again) and my grandma told me to follow her. We walked to this edge of the house and she cut out this stick from her neighbor’s mini garden. I was thinking just maybe she wanted to boil it or something else, but you guessed right she made me chew it. First day, the sore throat went but it took my voice with it. I don’t know when my grams became a herbalist but she made me chew that stick the next day and my voice slowly came back. I only said yes to chewing whatever it is because there’s nothing close to a pharmacy around here and I really needed to swallow well.

the stick that saved my life

 

The only kind of water they have here is from the stream. The only cool thing is how cold it constantly is. (Is it just me or is this post starting to sound like a primary school essay on “How I spent my Christmas holiday 😂😂). I could have posted the video I made about going to the stream but my blog doesn’t accept files more than 2mb. It’s like a hilly pathway and whenever I go to fetch water I always imagine people running through that path during the war or something. If Kemi Adetiba shoots a movie here, she definitely is going to have mad view cos the location…

the stream is somewhere on the left hand side

 

I took time to master the art of cooking with firewood because my mum believes that my future mother in-law would put me to a firewood cooking test (Side note to future man: help me tell your mother that we shouldn’t stress ourselves okay? It’s not by firewood oh, who is a good woman, is a good woman). One thing I’m sure I’d keep running from is going to the farm or this frying garri of a thing. I feel like I’d definitely have to loose weight if I sit near the fire that long or maybe my melanin would begin to pop. I only from a distance watched my aunt and some women make the garri. So if I’m asked if I can make garri, well yes I can! You can’t even argue that one with me. Also got to cut firewood and learnt to stack that shit (God knows I’m destined to be stacking money and not firewood 😭😭) ,but I’m proud of me and you should be too. 

There’s this house that I’ve never seen open since I’ve been visiting this place. Shocker! But it’s been the same padlock since I started taking note of it, that’s like since my Jss3. I’ve chosen to tag it the haunted hut of the village sha. Whenever I ask grams about it, she chooses to curve the question. Just maybe someday I’d be able to break the mystery, who’s with me on this one?? 

The network here is horrible, I haven’t seen a mast or whatever those network things are but then there’s this tree that knows how to give you mad network when you sit around it. Someone smart should explain this to me or I’d keep believing it’s magic. So this is me giving it to the tree that’s making it possible for me to drop this post right now. It’s either the tree or the parlour or no network for me. Living here definitely is like being on exile. Did I add there’s nothing like electricity unless you have your generator? 

There are like a million more adventures to this place but let’s leave it till any of you is man enough to come visit. It’s the last day of the year and on this end we don’t do fireworks. I’d just hang around the kitchen stretching my hand to collect jugs of palmwine and chunks of chicken 😁. How did your Christmas holiday go?

P.S there are just 15 houses in this village and none of them have any young adult in it. So the holidays is just like your regular time out with your siblings and cousins. No kiosks, no nothing. You have to go to town for grocery shopping, if you’re lucky enough to have someone drive you out.

The image with me in it (cover photo)  is where the church used to be until it collapsed, they think it’s the evil spirit but we all know how it’s bad foundation and just maybe erosion or whatever in the land topography issue it is 🤷.

You heard it here first guys :HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Bookmark the site cos it’s about to be back to back posts here.

xoxo —– WHITENIGERIANGIRL❤

Lynda

Hi, faves! I’m Ndubuaku Lynda, a blogger, content creator and storyteller. I’m also a freelance writer. I also inspire millennials through my blog show. There are different categories on the blog. Get comfortable! Need to reach me? Send an email to ndubuakulynda@gmail.com or a dm to @whitenigeriangirl on IG

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6 Discussion to this post

  1. Ediama says:

    I’d love to visit and shoot the jonsing videos but you see that hit? I’m not ready for a horror movie in a place I can’t get out. We’re not in the movies 🙄🙄

  2. Berechandra says:

    Girl! On God my village is a city compared to yours but that doesn’t stop me from being the house girl here. None of my sisters came back, just myself, my parents and the little boys 😭. Get the girls and I an invite let’s shoot our regular jonsing movie and videos. And that haunted hut we’re so ‘ghost-hunting’ (giggles). Happy new year in addy girl! Cheers to 2019, let’s keep being friends 🥂

    • WhiteNigerianGirl says:

      I’m nor ghost hunting anything in that place. Tell them you didn’t see me. But whenever you girls are ready, we can start exploring. Friends forever ❤

  3. Ella says:

    Lmao….whoever wrote this is amazing (coats nails)

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