Maybe I’d Never Make A Beautiful Writer
Before I started this piece, which I have no idea…
Hey lovelies, it’s been weeks or so. I have a lot of wonderful things I’d love to write but home training and all. Soon I’d have the balls to write whatever without caring if there’s an aunty or uncle looking for the one they’d use for family meeting 😂😂. It’s that time of the year when we the single people get oppressed, when they decide to pepper us (fact: people in happy relationships need their own world just so they’d stop blinding us and making us depressed) . I’m giving free tips on how to be unbothered on the 14th because it’s single that we are, we didn’t kill nobody.
There’s probably a lot of nervousness and drama going on in the world now and I wish I could creep up on everyone and know what’s up. Shebi right now a guy is scared of his girl would say yes or make him go viral on the gram by saying no (if you’re unsure, please my love propose indoors so you can contain the shame). But then if she says “yes” then congratulations, we are ready to pick asoebi colour 😉. Some girls are also out there imagining if he’d finally get her that gift she’s been hinting him on so they’d blind us, well sorry for you, as much as he’d get it, our data would be off so we won’t view your status 😂. We will get our own gifts on Pinterest
Here is how to boycott the 24hrs and wake up on the 15th feeling all loved up. First of all, if you work in an office, please wear shades to work. You know the dark shades, like RayBan that has a habit of being blind to people, yes that one. Just in case your co-worker sends him/her self a gift and pretends like it’s bae, so you won’t make it obvious that you know the truth, wear your shades and hold in that judgemental stare that screams “I know what you did there”. Or just maybe if it’s a friend, be happy for her, go to the bathroom cry all you want and come back with your shades looking like you don’t care, please while at it don’t trip over your boss cos if you come back to say it’s this post that misguided you, I’m sorry you just might not even find the website at all (you see how good I’m getting with jokes 😂😂).
For my darlings that are getting depressed because there’s no bae, never forget how much I make emphasis on movies but on the 14th we are not going to be doing loved up ones that would make us cry. So I’m suggesting you see all the scary movies you can and then if you need a reason to cry to sleep, blame it on the movies. Or just take yourself out to the movies and don’t forget those RayBan.
No cinema’s around you? Don’t worry I still have you covered. You could do a cook fest in your own house and be alright. Throw an apron on, get a glass of red wine and try being a creative chef. You really want to get your mind off, try putting a new spice in the food or try to cook something new while listening to loud music and dancing around your kitchen. By the time you’re done cooking, you’d find yourself laughing at how the hours have gone and please for the sake of other road users on the 15th, buy flagyl or any drug that’d prevent you from purging your life away. So an in house buffet is yet another perfect distraction, right?
Don’t you see w are making progress and the 24hrs is just almost over. Yet another tip? Okay just maybe we’d have to put on our data unless you want to miss out on a whole day of gist because me I don’t want to 😏. You can make a new friend and play fake lovers for a whole day (please don’t give out your house address to avoid creepy humans) . You know that cute boy/girl you’ve been stalking and you’re sure they don’t have any lovers, dm them today! Tell them the plan of faking being together for one day and boom! Is that you I see rolling all over your bed from the cute text you just got? While boycotting, we are permitted to attempt to find a new lover so we won’t be this evil next year 😂😂.
I’m sorry if I’m a crappy leader 😂😂😂, you didn’t expect me to say we’d go about knocking down lovers and dropping insects in their food or just maybe pushing the candle on their dinner table and having them pay for attempting to burn down the whole place? 😎😎 I just wouldn’t suggest that you know. We’re just allergic to that purplely lovey-dovey 14th for this year only (hopefully). Let the protest begin!!
Meanwhile I was being lazy yet again until I visited Osas’ blog, yunno and I’m trying to drop the link to her blog but that 🔗 button up there be messing with my phone. Just Google Osastheking and you’d know what an awesome writer she is.
SIDE TALK: I’m using this new soap and I’m breaking out, who has a suggestion on what we can use to keep up this light skinned goodness 😢😢.
It’s always an amazing feeling getting to this part of the blog post because I could go on and on and on. All this boycotting doesn’t mean we can’t accept gifts from friends or even give to them 🤷.
Gotten your PVC yet? I’m dropping a post on my PVC story soon, prepare your bucket to cry for me.
You made it this far!! 🎊 🎊
Your favorite blogger, WNG 🖤